A man goes to his girlfriend's parents house for Thanksgiving. Hes really nervous. This is his first time meeting her family and he's not sure what to expect. In fact, he's so nervous that it's giving him gas. Now, sitting there watching tv in the family room isn't bad because the the football game is on and it's kind of loud and of course their big old dog Harold is licking his balls and Everyone can hear that. It's not bad, because he can sit there and fart into the couch. No one hears a thing…

20 Things to do Before You Die... 1) Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout ""OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"" 2) Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.' 3) Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away. 4) Call someone to tell them you can't talk right now. 5) Point at someone and shou…

I wrote this one myself. (It's better then that redtile disfunction joke) There was a guy named Shawn and he lived near a really little town in the western plains of Texas. This town was really just a dot along a highway and didn't get much traffic at all. There was one gas station, a diner, and a little dollar store with necessities and household items. Shawn worked at the store, his first job. Shawn did stocking, and cleaning, and sometimes helped out on the register. It was an easy job and ne…

Chinese Easter Around Easter, Catholic Church in China Town has just lost their caretaker. So the members of the church try to find someone who has both Chinese and Catholic roots. So they bring in three people to interview. They ask the first person, ""What is the significance of Easter?"" They answer *Chinese accent*, ""Eessa time... uhh... essa time when Christ turn water into wine."" The interviewers say, ""No, that is not what happened."" The bring in the second guy and ask him the same que…