Coolest jobs: 1)Beer maker 2)Secretary of War 3)Ninja 4)Guy who pushes scared skydivers

So Putin and Erdogan walk into a bar. Sorry, a war.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.