I spent an hour explaining how WiFi works to my dad and my dog. The dog gets it.

*showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!

He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers.

[on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*