For the longest time I thought a jetski was what people who say "brewski" for "beer" call an airplane.

A pilot, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar... I know because they told everyone within a minute.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*