[At a San Francisco Dance Club] *Grinds cute girl in a mini-skirt* Hey baby, what's your name? "Robert"

"Remember Robert from work?" Yeah..he was a douche. "He died." WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!

Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert.

What do you call a shish-kebab at a fancy restaurant? A Shish-ke-Robert