A man walks into an autobody shop and asks for a rim job. The mechanic gapes at the man for a few seconds and then asks, ""What did you say?"" ""A rim job!"" says the man. ""My buddy knows all about cars and he took one look at my wheels and said I desperately needed a rim job."" Realizing that the man was being made sport of, the mechanic felt that it was his solemn duty to keep the game going. ""I'm sorry, sir, but we're strictly front-end work only here,"" said the mechanic. ""For a rim job y…

A magic show... Two friends, Bob and Hank, are watching a magician perform. Mildly amused by the standard tricks and illusions they have seen so far, their attention perks up when they see the beautiful assistant come out from behind the curtain for the ""saw the lady in half"" trick. As she is climbing into the box, Bob leans over and whispers, ""That's some hot broad. I'd ask her out, wouldn't you?"" ""Nah,"" Hank says, ""I'd probably get the half that eats.""

The foreign tourist Hank and Frank are walking down the street. A flustered-looking guy comes up to them and asks, ""Parlez-vous francais?"" (Do you speak French?) They stare at him. He tries again, ""Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"" (Do you speak German?) They shrug. ""Hablas espanol?"" (Do you speak Spanish?) Nope. ""Parli italiano?"" (Do you speak Italian?) They shrug again, the man gives up and leaves. Hank says, ""maybe we should learn a foreign language."" Frank notes, ""that guy knew 4 and look wh…

Ask me these three questions and I'll answer... A musician sits in a bar, talking to his friend. He says to the friend: ""Ok man, you have to ask me thse three questions, and I will answer them: 1. What's your name 2. What instrument do you play 3. what is your weakness Ok?"" - Ok, the friend says. And he fires away: ""Question 1: What is your name?"" ""HANK!"" the musician answers. ""Question 2: What instrument do you play?"" ""THE DRUMS!"" the musician triumphantically shouts out loud. ""Allri…