😄 I keep a picture of a dragon fighting a helicopter in my wallet, in case the police ask to see my li...

The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.

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COP: Can you describe your attacker? ME: No COP: Didn't you see him? ME: Yes, but I have a poor grasp of adjectives

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Officer: You drinking? Me: You buying? Oh how we laughed and laughed.... PS: I need bail money.

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Loan officer: And what is the purpose of your loan, Sir? Me: Whole Foods. I shop at Whole Foods.

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