A Dark And Stormy Night In Transylvania Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania. They re driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a ditch.. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees…

Two Russians were walking through the woods... And they came across a pile of brownish muck. ""Look like dogshit?"" asks Commander Igor. ""Ya! Look like dogshit!"" answers Ivan. ""Smell it!"" commands Igor. Ivan gets down and takes a whiff. ""Smell like dogshit?"" asks Igor. ""Ya! Smells like dogshit!"" ""Taste it!"" growls Igor. ""Huh?"" protests Ivan. ""**Taste it!**"" yells Igor. Ivan takes a bit on his finger, puts it in his mouth with a scowl, and spits. Igor asks ""Taste like dogshit?"" ""…

Regular Russia, not the Soviet one Ivan and Igor are standing at a bus stop in Russia. It is freezing cold and raining hard. A limo drives by and splashes icy water all over them. Ivan says to Igor, ""This is a terrible place to live, I want to go to America."" Igor responses, ""Why do think America would be any better."" Ivan stares at Igor in disbelief, ""Do you know what would happen in America? If a limo drove by and splashed you, the rich man would pull over, apologize, help you into the ca…

During the Cold War, the CIA wanted to create the perfect Russian spy. So they train a cohort for years and then they choose the best candidate. They deploy him from a stealth submarine on a remote Russian coast and the spy starts making his way towards Moscow through the frozen tundra. After a few days he comes across a small trapping village and as he was starting to get hungry and wanting to give his skills a test run he decides to go in. The people are extremely welcoming of the stranger. …