Regular Russia, not the Soviet one Ivan and Igor are standing at a bus stop in Russia. It is freezing cold and raining hard. A limo drives by and splashes icy water all over them. Ivan says to Igor, ""This is a terrible place to live, I want to go to America."" Igor responses, ""Why do think America would be any better."" Ivan stares at Igor in disbelief, ""Do you know what would happen in America? If a limo drove by and splashed you, the rich man would pull over, apologize, help you into the ca…

Frankenstein: Master go fishing? Igor: Yes. F: Master take worms? I: Yes. F: Master put on hook? I: Yup. F: Hehe...Master ba- I: Just don't.

A Russian and a German died and went to hell The Devil greets them and tells them ""You know guys, hell is kind of full right now, so I tell you what: I'll give each of you a dog and three crates of sausage and when I come back a month from now, the one who teaches the dog a better trick can go to purgatory"". A month has passed and the Devil goes to check up on the German. He sees that the dog is quite plump and the man has lost a lot of weight. ""Ok show me your trick"" he says. The German hol…

'What Will Communism Be Like?'- A Russian Joke One day, as a young man, Ivan asked a member of the Party, ""What will it be like once we have built communism?"". The Party man replied, ""The shops will be full of goods, and we will have no money"". Four decades passed, and the Soviet Union fell. After the fall of the USSR, Ivan found himself walking the streets of Moscow. He looked at the shops, and he felt in his pockets, and smiled. ""Comrades"", he said, ""We have built communism at last!""