Panama Papers: Kim Jong-un among the latest release of persons involved in offshore shell companies. Kim Jong-un was discovered to be sending most of his food to off-shore accounts to avoid the common folk of North Korea from eating it.

North Korea Kim Jong Il and Vladimir Putin are having a summit meeting in Moscow. During a break, they're bored, and they decide to take a bet to see whose bodyguards are more loyal. Putin is on the 20th floor and calls on his bodyguard Ivan, opens the window, and says: ""Ivan, jump!"" Sobbing, Ivan says: ""Mr. President, how can you ask me to do that? I have a wife and child waiting for me at home..."" Putin sheds a tear himself, apologizes to Ivan, and sends him away. Next, it's Kim Jong Il's …

There is a shortage of butter in North Korea .. .. Kim Jong Un orders a team of scientists to do something about it urgently. They are tasked with a project of converting shit to butter. After a few months of work, the supreme leader demands a progress report. ""Well, the project is almost complete!"" ""What do you mean by almost?"" ""We can already spread it!""

Kim Jong-un promises a new clear future for North Korea Oops, spelt nuclear wrong.