A policeman on patrol calls his fellow cop on the station... COP 1: Hey, I got a weird case over here COP 2: What is it buddy? COP 1: Im here at the front porch of an elderly couple's house COP 2: So? COP 1: Someone called me to go to this house because they heard shouting and stuff. And you wouldn't believe what happened... COP 2: What happened? COP 1: The wife stabbed her husband to death COP 2: How did you know? COP 1: As she opened the door, I saw her in tears, with fresh blood on her hands,…

So an old buddy of mine went to prison... He had just gotten married actually, and one of the first things he did as a newly married man was go for a round of 18 holes with his buds. Okay...they also got a few drinks afterwords. When he got home, golf bags in tow, his wife confronted him: ""I can't believe you'd go out all day after we're married, and to golf! and... you reek of booze!"" and she really keeps letting him have it, until he can't take it anymore. He's always had a temper, but this …

A cop catches a Z4 with European plates doing 134 in upstate New York, so the cop gets out calling for backup and shouts ""Keep your hands on the wheel!"" while approaching the driver's side. He instructs the driver to lower the window. It's a pale bald guy wearing a dark turtleneck and thick plastic eyeglasses. ""Ja? I vas just admiring Ihre Autobahn. There is eine Art von Problem?"" ""Yeah, buddy,"" says the cop. ""This isn't 'ear auto bahn.' You're in New York State, and you have to respect O…

Poor little Rabbit A vegan is driving his Escalade down the highway and as he turns a corner he spots a rabbit run out in front of him. He locks up the brakes and skids side to side, desperately tries to not run over the rabbit. The rabbit takes a couple hops to the left and SPLAT! The front right tire flattens the bunny. Moments later the vegan is sitting on the side of the road, hands in his face, tears pouring down his cheeks over committing murder. He sees another car approach and sto…