An elderly couple's road trip around south east England *(Note for those unfamiliar with the British road network: 'A' roads are main, or arterial, roads and they are all identified by 'A' and a number.)* An elderly man is driving his wife on a road trip around the south east of England. Shortly after getting on to the A2, a police car signals them to pull over, and the old man obliges. The police officer walks up to the driver's side and the old man winds down the window. The policeman asks him…

This was my grandma's favorite joke A man lives alone in his apartment. He never married, doesn't stay in touch with his family, and generally keeps to himself. One day while at home watching TV, his phone rings and he answers it. A deep, slow voice says to him ""the viper is coming..."", and then hangs up before the man has any chance to respond. He thinks it was pretty strange, but he figures it must just be some kids playing a bad prank or something. Half an hour later, his phone rings again.…

He Takes His Golf Seriously. An elderly golfer is about to putt when a funeral procession drives by. He removes his hat, and waits for the cars to pass by. His golfing buddy turns to him and says, ""That was very thoughtful of you to do that."" He responds, ""Well, it seemed appropriate. I was married to the woman for 55 years.""

A man is unhappy with his wife... but he doesn't want to divorce her, because she'll get half of his money and assets, so he goes to the mafia to see about getting a hit put out on his wife. The mafia agrees to do it and tells him it will be $50,000. The husband says, ""I don't have that kind of money."" He was then told to go see Tony, who was retired from the mafia, but still did work on the side occasionally. He tells Tony his situation. Tony agrees to do it and asks for $20,000. Once again, …