*on death bed* priest: any regrets my child? *montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it* me: uhhhhh

What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner? Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

Every time someone tells you they are a vegan an angel eats a dog.

Dogs can lick their balls and no one bats an eye lid but when I do it you're all like get the hell away from my dog?