HR: The delivery job is yours. Me: Great! HR: Do u have a reliable car? Me: Yes. HR: Model? Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?

The cool thing about driving 15 mph in a school zone is that it makes it so much easier to text.

We go to college to get a good job to buy an expensive tv to watch truck drivers on the discovery channel.

[driving 2 school] *looks back,sees toothbrushes in child carseats WAIT! IF YOU'RE HERE THEN... [cut to kids at home, covered in toothpaste]