"You know who else loved carbs? Hitler." - excerpt from my book How To Diet Through Shame & Manipulation

[1st date] {don't let her know you're Hitler} HER: what are you going to eat? ME: definitely not seafood HER: did u say nazi food? ME: shit

Hitler walks into a restaurant... Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, ""I'm hungry!"" The owner asks, ""Well, what do you want to eat?"" Hitler replies with, ""As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!""

As a Jew, I have heard many Jewish jokes, here are a few... Why do Jews have big noses? because air is free... Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? Pizza's don't scream in the oven.... What's faster than a speeding bullet? A Jew with a coupon... How many Jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray... Why did Hitler kill himself? he saw his gas bill... Why did Moses split the red sea? He saw a nickle at the bottom... If you all have any I f…