*Pizza Hut job interview* "Do you own a shitty car and smoke pot?" No sir. "You will."#Pizza Hut#Food#Work#Driving#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[answers phone during job interview] What's the address here? The Pizza Hut guy can't find me.#Pizza Hut#Food#Work#Technology+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Boss: Lunch meeting, let's go. Me: Do I have to? Boss: Free food and unlimited alcohol. Me: *moonwalks to the car*#Food#Work#Driving#Bar+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"#David#Animals#Work#Driving+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I've wrecked my car yet I still weigh the same. This crash diet is for the birds.#Food#Driving#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp