Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".

The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad. And you said id never amount to anything

Good cop: license and registration please Perp: I'm sorry was I speeding Dad Cop: hi sorry was I speeding, I'm dad.

GOOD COP: cover me! DAD COP: *tucks him in* snug as a bug