CHINA: how can we fix our economic problems??? GERMANY: how do we reestablish our engineering reputation??? USA: OH MY GOD RAT WITH A PIZZA

Don't call me "Dad", please call me by my professional title, "Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist".

An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar. Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket. The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt. The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, h…

A biologist, a physicist, and an engineer are on a plane that crashes... ...and luckily they are washed up on a deserted island, along with several crates of canned food. However, no can opener washes up with them, and there is nothing sharp on the island, so the three scientists must figure out how to open the cans. The biologist sticks the can in the water, saying, ""The salt water should eat through the metal, allowing us to get to the food inside."" When this doesn't work, the physicist take…