As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"

*Meninist meeting* WOMEN ARE EVIL- *phone rings* Uhh just a second... *picks up phone* Mom not while I'm doing my club! Yes, pizza tonight.

An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

I took a black shit I took a shit this afternoon. I took a look at it, and it was black! My shit had never come out that color before, and I had no idea what to do. So I did what I always do when I don't know what else to do: I called my father. I call him up at work. He picked up and I said, ""Hey Dad - you're not going to believe this, but I just took a shit and it's black!"" He responded back, ""Hey Bobby - you're not going to believe this, but I'm in a meeting, and you're on speaker phone!""…