The Tortured Life of a Tractor Enthusiast (Very Shaggy Dog Joke!) So there was this guy Dave, and Dave had always loved tractors despite being a city boy. Ever since he had been 5 years old he had wanted to own one in particular, a massive green John Deere with yellow wheels. For his tenth birthday his parents brought him a poster of this tractor and Dave worshipped it. He had this poster above his bed and would gaze at it for hours before he went to sleep. As soon as he was old enough Dave drop…

A midget with a speech impediment One day this rancher gets a phone call from one of his high school buddies . His buddy says that he has a friend that is interested in buying a horse and naturally he referred him to his buddy. The rancher said ""That's fine, what does the guy look like so that when he shows up I knows who to look for."" The buddy says, ""Oh, well he's a midget with a speech impediment you can't miss him."" ""Alright,"" said the rancher Later in the day this car pulls into the r…

Once upon a time...... .....a little boy named John lived a village with his mother. His father already died in an accident and his mother has to work very hard to run the family. John was hated by his classmates at school for stupidity in class. Even the class teacher said to him, ""You are driving me crazy John!"" One day her mother went to his school to check on his progress and was speaking to the teacher. The teacher was being very honest and told her the truth about her son and how disaste…

You might be a redneck if... The ufo hotline limits you to 1 call per day, You mow your yard and find a car, Have less teeth than your 2 year old, Walk your child to school because your in the same grade, See a sign saying ""say no to crack"" and you pull your pants, Your dog and wallet are both on a chain, People ask to hunt in your yard, Someone shows up to your house once a day mistakenly thinking your having a yard sale.