[Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...

Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election. The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia. When he was asked: ""How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?"", he answered: ""Well, maybe because I'm honest about it""

Obama, Clinton and Trump walk into a bar... Obama says, ""I love this suit I'm wearing today. $3,000 Armani. A man in the top job needs to know how to dress the part, and I think I've shown that in my presidency."" Then Clinton says, ""I love my dress, $75,000 Vutton. A woman with the right character for president needs to dress to impress. I think I've shown that I've got style enought for the oval office."" Trump turns around and says, ""whatever stupid, I was born with the best jeans.""