Two hikers are walking through the woods... when one gets bitten in the nuts by a snake. The other hiker says ""Stay here, I'll run back to town and find help."" The hiker finds a doctor who is busy delivering a baby, but tells the hiker he can simply suck the venom out of the wound. He runs back, and his friend asks him what happened. He says,""The good news is I found a doctor, the bad news is you're going to die.""

Once upon a time...... .....a little boy named John lived a village with his mother. His father already died in an accident and his mother has to work very hard to run the family. John was hated by his classmates at school for stupidity in class. Even the class teacher said to him, ""You are driving me crazy John!"" One day her mother went to his school to check on his progress and was speaking to the teacher. The teacher was being very honest and told her the truth about her son and how disaste…

Shooting the Dog A woman was pregnant with triplets. One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up, and gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives. She goes to the doctor who tells her, her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out. So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says, ""MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"" So the mother tells her the story. The next day, the second daughter comes out and s…

So there's this pregnant woman and she goes into the doctors office whilst her husband is at work for her first scan after conception. The doctor after about 5 minutes of scratching his head says to the woman, "" Well by my beard you're pregnant with triplets"". The woman retorts and immediately gets out her phone to call her husband, the husband being as shocked as she was, responds with "" go to the bank and take out the biggest home loan you can, we are going to need a big house for this fami…