So a man is dying... A man is dying, the doctors tell him. But the cure for his rare disease is strange... ""The only way you'll live is if you start to eat things through your ass."" The doctor said. ""You're serious? That's gonna make me live? How embarrassing..."" The man says. ""Would you rather shove food up your butt, or die?"" The doctor asks. After thinking about it, the man takes the doctors advice. The doctor tells the man to begin the procedure at his next meal, and to come see him ag…

The Jewish talking dog Morty visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, ""My dog has a problem. "" Dr. Saul says, ""So, tell me about the dog and the problem. "" ""It's a Jewish dog. His name is Seth and he can talk,"" says Morty. ""He can talk?"" the doubting doctor asks. ""Watch this!"" Morty points to the dog and commands: "" Seth, Fetch!"" Seth the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then turns around and says, ""So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around lik…

A man loves tractors There was a man who loves tractors, he had hundreds of model tractors, had a job maintaining and fixing tractors, and owned many tractors himself. He also had a wife, and like him, she loved tractors, together they were very happy with each other and their tractors. One day the couple were driving along the road when they passed a big farm delivery truck carrying tractors when one rolled off the delivery truck and hit their car. The wife had to be hospitalized due to her inj…

Jokes of the day!! 1. A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird, the man finally says, ""If you don't stop swearing, I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment."" The parrot continues, so finally the man puts the bird in the freezer. About an hour later, the parrot asks the man to please open the door. As the ma…