""This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35000 feet midway across the Atlantic. ""If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. ""If you look out of the windows on the port side you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. ""If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean …

Recently, I was flying into Barcelona from London, and as we were descending to land we passed through some very dark clouds. The plane began to be buffeted by turbulence like I’ve never experienced before in my life. Suddenly, a blinding light exploded outside and an explosion of noise enveloped us. Lighting had struck the plane! The cabin erupted in screams and cries as the plane dropped hundreds of feet in a single moment, but the worse was yet to come. The strike seemed to have impacted th…

It was mealtime during a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: "Would you like dinner?" "What are my choices?" said the passenger. "Yes or no," replied the flight attendant. You know you're in trouble when at the control tower, there's a note taped to the door that says, 'Back in five minutes.' Jeff Foxworthy

Flying Blind A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning. The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, ""The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."" The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. ""We're flying o…