Woman in labor A man is sitting with his wife in the hospital while she is in labor with his first child. While in labor, he hears her screaming, ""Don't! Won't! Couldn't! Can't! Didn't!"" The man then asks the doctor, ""Why is she screaming those words?"". The doctor then replied, ""She's having her contractions"".

It took my wife six hours to push out our first child. The fat bastard can live elsewhere now.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital. You see, inside was his dear wife, about to give birth to their first child. The Chicken was, of course, rather excited. ""I'm about to become a Dad!"" he thought to himself, racing down the white, squeaky corridors of the hospital. He burst into the maternity ward's waiting room where he found his wife, hunched over and crying on one of the seats. A nearby Doctor was next to her, looking forlornly at her. ""H-Honey? What's wrong, what …

""My wife is pregnant"" A man spoke frantically into the phone ""My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"" ""Is this her first child?"" the doctor asked. ""No, you idiot!"" the man shouted. ""This is her husband!""