Just took a bite of a gluten-free slice of pizza & my stomach made a sad noise & I was all "I know, buddy. I know."

Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns. What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!! A neutron walks into a bar. ""I'd like a beer"" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. ""How much will that be?"" asks the neutron. ""For you?"" replies the bartender, ""no charge"" A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Across the room he see's a panda bear eating a large pile of bamboo. Upon finishing the bamboo a waiter comes to the pandas table. The panda then shoots the waiter in the head, gets u…

Shipwrecked! After a messy divorce, a middle aged man decides he needs to take some time for himself, and decides to take a cruise in the South Pacific to let off some steam and relax. He's enjoying the trip, relaxing and mostly keeping to himself, when suddenly the clouds darken and a huge storm springs up. The ship begins to pitch and roll. People are panicking. The captain announces that the ship is going to sink. Just as the man slips on his life jacket and begins to head for the lifeboats a…

A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store... And the clerk says,""May I help you, sir?"" ""Yes"", says the rabbit. ""I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."" ""I'm sorry sir"", says the clerk,"" but we don't have that here."" ""Oh, ok."", says the slightly deflated rabbit. ""I guess I'll have a house salad."" ""Sir,"" replies the slightly annoyed clerk,"" we don't have that. Is there something else I can help you with?"" ""Well,"" says the rabbit,"" in that case I'll just have a bowl of toma…