So, the KGB walks into a bar... ...and they start, uh... they... I, uh... I don't know. I didn't see *anything*; I swear!

""I already know Russian"" A KGB officer is walking in the park and he sees and old Jewish man reading a book. The KGB says ""What are you reading old man?"" The old man says ""I am trying to teach myself Hebrew."" KGB says ""Why are you trying to learn Hebrew? It takes years to get a visa for Israel. You would die before the paperwork got done."" ""I am learning Hebrew so that when I die and go to Heaven I will be able to speak to Abraham and Moses. Hebrew is the language they speak in Heaven."…

The CIA and KGB are in a contest to see who are the better spies They are both given a patch of forest and told there is a rabbit there that they must find. The CIA spends millions of dollars on informants among the other woodland animals. They set up fancy equipment and video cameras. They invent a new rabbit detector. After a week of trying they can't find the rabbit and announce that there never was a rabbit. The KGB sends two men into the forest. They emerge 15 minutes later with a bear that…

Impenetrable A Russian spy was told to try and infiltrate a top secret American research facility. The facility's name was Advanced Reconnaissance Manually Operated Robotics or A.R.M.O.R. HE was a deep cover agent so he was there for about 10-20 years stealing over a thousand diagrams and info for the Russians. The leader of the KGB (this was in the 60's) threw him a congratulatory dinner when he got back. The leader asked him ""how the hell did you get all these secret's? ""You were one of twen…