The kid can't catch a break... Teacher: what's wrong? Johnny: our house is very small, Me, my mum and my dad, all sleep in the same bed. Every night my dad ask if I'm sleeping, I say No then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye. Teacher: tonight when your dad asks, keep dead quiet and don't answer. The following morning Johnny's teacher sees him with a severe swelling on his face. Teacher: My goodness why the swelling? Johnny: Dad asked me again me if I was sleeping... I shut up and kept de…

Which body part goes to heaven first? Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first. One little girl raised her hand and said, ""I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."" The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, ""I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."" ""Very good,"" …

There was once a Chinese elderly father and his three sons... I was told this by my Chinese philosophy professor who summed up modern Chinese thinking in a story. Being an American Chinese male, it invoked weird feelings... There was once a Chinese elderly father and his three sons. The elderly father tells his sons: ""Children, I am dying and will not be on this earth for much longer. When I die, what will you do with my remains?"" The oldest replies: ""Father, I will take your remains and plac…

Little Johnny goes camping Little Johnny's Second Grade class is going camping for a class field trip. As nighttime comes, all the children get set up in their tents and get ready to fall asleep. A few hours go by, a storm approaches and thunder begins clapping, and little Johnny can't seem to sleep. Little Johnny gets out of his sleeping bag and wanders over to his teacher's tent. Little Johnny tells his teacher that on stormy nights like this, his mom lets him crawl into bed with her to keep h…