Little Johnny's dad Little Johnny's teacher asks every kid in the class to share what their dads to for a living. ""My dad's a fireman."" ""My dad's a policeman."" Soon, all the kids except little Johnny had shared. The teacher asks: ""Little Johnny, what does your father do?"" ""Nothing, he's dead."" ""Well, I'm sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died?"" ""He shit his pants and turned blue.""

There was once a Chinese elderly father and his three sons... I was told this by my Chinese philosophy professor who summed up modern Chinese thinking in a story. Being an American Chinese male, it invoked weird feelings... There was once a Chinese elderly father and his three sons. The elderly father tells his sons: ""Children, I am dying and will not be on this earth for much longer. When I die, what will you do with my remains?"" The oldest replies: ""Father, I will take your remains and plac…

Little Johnny at it again... Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye. After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it. Johnny's answer was: "Our house is very small Miss. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, 'Johnny are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye." So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and don't s…

On Monday morning, a teacher asks his 2nd graders what they did over the weekend: Timmy goes first: “I went to the movies with my mommy and daddy”. “Great!” The teacher replies “but I want you to use big kid words. Next time, say you went to the movies with mom and dad” Next up is Rose “I rode the choo choo with my family” “Sounds fun!” The teacher replies “but again, we use big kid words. You rode the train with your family” Then it’s Johnny’s turn to talk about his weekend, he thinks for …