A man goes to his girlfriend's parents house for Thanksgiving. Hes really nervous. This is his first time meeting her family and he's not sure what to expect. In fact, he's so nervous that it's giving him gas. Now, sitting there watching tv in the family room isn't bad because the the football game is on and it's kind of loud and of course their big old dog Harold is licking his balls and Everyone can hear that. It's not bad, because he can sit there and fart into the couch. No one hears a thing…

Halloween election Year 2026: ""Dad, tell me a spooky halloween story."" ""Once upon a time there was an old man who wore a jack-o-lantern over his head so he would always be frowning to express that he never made enough money to satisfy his greed. Everyone made jokes about how he looked like an orange smurf with fake hair. He did not care. He liked the color orange bigly. One day he was attending a golf match and noticed a beautiful woman at the clubhouse. He cornered her, pressed his lips agai…

Two brothers wake up on Christmas morning... They rush downstairs to see what they got from Santa. The younger one asked for a bicycle and sure enough, he got a bicycle. The older brother asked for an XBox, but it was nowhere to be found. Instead he found a baseball bat. His little brother started taunting him, ""Nanananana, I got a bicycle, you didn't get your XBox, nanananana!"" So the older brother calmly puts the bat on his shoulder, turns to his brother, and says ""Well, at least I don't ha…

Three pollocks are discussing the meaning of Easter The first pollock says, ""Easter is that time of year when your family comes over for the night. You sit down to a big turkey dinner and you watch football. ""No you moron,"" said the second pollock. ""That is Thanksgiving. Easter is the time of year when a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney and leaves you presents underneath a tree."" ""Don't be stupid,"" said the third pollock. ""You should know that is Christmas. Easter is the tim…