The time my grandpa went to Africa One day I was sitting with my grandpa watching TV. As it happened we were watching the Discovery channel when a show about Africa came on. ""Hmph, Africa... I've been there."" My grandpa said. ""Really?"" I asked, ""I never knew you went to Africa grandpa, when was this?"" ""Well,"" he said, ""when I went to Africa I was about your age. Eighteen. And back then they didn't have no jet airplanes that could get you there in ten hours. No siree!"" ""First, we got on a steam ship. New York harbor! We sailed in that tub for fourteen straight days and fourteen nights ...until finally, we reached the coast of Africa."" ""Then,"" he went on, ""we were loaded up on this rickety old railroad pulled by a steam locomotive and we rode those narrow winding tracks for ten days and ten nights, deep into the heart of Africa."" ""Finally they got us saddled up on a caravan of horses. We rode those flea bitten mares for five days and and five nights out into the savannah."" His eyes narrowed and he became considerably more animated raising his arms into the air and forming threatening claws with his hands, ""That's when that lion jumped out and went *ROAAAR!* ...and I shit my pants."" ""Holy smokes grandpa,"" I chuckled, ""that lion must've really scared you to make you shit your pants!"" ""No no, just now, when I went *ROAAAR!* ...I shit my pants.""