A blonde, brunette, and ginger are walking through the desert... The brunette was carrying a bucket of fried chicken, the ginger was carrying bottles of water, and the blonde, a car door. They eventually come to an old man's house. The old asks the brunette ,""Where are you going with that fried chicken?"" She replies, ""If I get hungry, I can eat."" He asks the ginger, ""And what about you?"" She says, ""If I'm thirsty, I can drink it."" The old man turns to the blonde and asks, ""And why are y…

So there's this blonde... and she's sick and tired of being stereotyped as the dumb blonde, so she decides to dye her hair and move to another city. After she died her hair brown, she packs up her things and leaves for the new city. Driving down a barren country road on the way there, she starts to get really hungry. With no restaurants in sight, she pulls in to the only home as far as the eye can see, a sheep farm. Thinking a sheep would make a tasty meal, she walks up to the house where the f…

What if I color on you? What if I run a truck along your back? Steal your toy? Throw a ball? Spit food at you? - My toddler, wooing the dog

I think if a trained monkey could drive a car, cook & give out money, my kids wouldn't notice it wasn't me. I need a monkey.