Job Application Humor ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."" That's what we're afraid of ... ======================================================================== Resume: ""It is my professional objective to obtain a position which allows me to make use of my commuter skills."" I think we can oblige. ======================================================================== Weaknesses: ""Suffer from prickly heat in summer."" Sounds uncomfortable. ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."" We can hardly wait. ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""You are privileged to receive my resume."" We'll try not to let it go to our heads. ======================================================================== Objective: ""To mature in the field of human behavior."" Good luck with that. ======================================================================== Experience: ""10 years of experience in financial budgiting and transactions rigistering."" But limited experience with the spell-check function. ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""Please overlook my resume."" If you insist. ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""I am submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consumption."" Yum. ======================================================================== Skills: ""Grate communication skills."" Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time? ======================================================================== Experience: ""Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."" Seems kind of harsh ... ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""Salary demanded - $65,000."" Would you like that in small, unmarked bills? ======================================================================== Strengths: ""Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."" Would that be Mozart or Beethoven? ======================================================================== Education: ""B.A. in Loberal Arts."" Did you minor in ear piercing? ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""I've updated my resume so it's more appalling to employers."" We're pretty shocked already ... ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."" Glad to hear it. ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."" At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid. ======================================================================== Cover letter: ""Experienced in all faucets of accounting."" That should help with the flow of information.