An elderly couple from Ohio are planning their 40th anniversary... The couple, who were rabid basketball fans, had used the last 39 years to have an annual foray into their shared passion for the NBA. They went to games when they could, had gone to the Basketball Hall of Fame (four times so far), but usually just celebrated by getting each other neat collector's items and hard-to-fine paraphernalia. So normally they just stayed put and rooted for their favorite team, the Cleveland Cavaliers. This year, however, they wanted to do something special, so they decided to take a trip. Friends of theirs in Florida had told them about a phenomenal Bed & Breakfast in Miami. Not only would they get a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather, but the Inn was themed after their second-favorite pastime: the collection of silly knick-knacks. The sillier and tackier the better! And this place was chock full of all kinds of cutesy, cheesy junk. The largest collection of gaudy bric-a-brac in America! It sounded perfect, so they booked their flight. After a long flight and a decent cab ride, they were pooped and just wanted to bed down for the evening. However, when they arrived at the Inn, they noticed a crowd. ""Somebody famous must be staying here,"" they said to each other. So nose down, and elbows out, they trudged through the crowd and made it to the front desk. As the husband looked down at the register to sign in, he noticed the names above the blank space: LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Carlos Arroyo, Chris Bosh, the entire current roster for the Miami Heat were already booked in! Being die-hard Cavalier fans, without a word between them, they immediately turned around and went back to Ohio. Moral of the story: If you can't stand the Heat, stay out of the Kitsch Inn. tl;dr: It's a shaggy dog story. I made it, and I am not embarrassed.