[murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.

what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty

"Don't move or she's dead" was the last thing the wife heard before the husband started tap dancing.

Wife: "If I die first, I want you to remarry." Me: "Wow. Do you really hate me that much?"