[Long] One of my favorite jokes from BoJack Horseman Okay so there's this gardener right? So the amazing thing about this gardener is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch he needs for a job, just by looking. Like he gets it right, every time. He's the best. So one day, he looks at a yard he's working on and he's like... 18 bags. So he goes to the store, buys 18 bags of mulch and goes to work. And when he's finished, the flower beds are amazing! Beautiful roses, beautiful lillies and beautfil orchid bushes. But there's one problem, he still has 1 bag of mulch left. He can't believe it! This has never happened before. Well, the extra bag of mulch drives him crazy, because he's THE GUY who always gets the right amount of mulch! He's like... aaaH! Extra mulch! Oh no! So... on the drive home, he throws the bag of mulch out the window, over the side of the freeway 101. ~ (Space out this time between jokes as much as possible when telling it) ~ So, there's this couple who just started dating and things are going really well. One day the girl finds an old box of love letters from her highschool boyfriend. She reads them and just loves how silly they are, the drama of young romance. So on a whim, she sends the letters to her ex-boyfriend thinking he might find them funny too! So that night she tells her current boyfriend about it and he loses his shit. They get in a huge fight about it. He's all like, ""Why would you send your ex the old love letters! He's going to think you're still in love with him! And she's like, ""Relax Brandon!"" (The current boyfriends name btw) Now the night is ruined because Brandon is obsessed. He's like, ""That ex-boyfriend is going to come back for you, he knows where you live!"" So after dinner he drives her home, she lives in one of those big apartment buildings by the freeway and he walks her to her door. But he forgets to lock the car, and leaves the windows down. He kisses her goodnight, but things are kind of wierd. Then he gets back in his car and starts to drive away. But when he glances in his rear view mirror his blood turns cold. Guess what's in the back seat? The bag of Mulch!