The Reporter in the Appalachian Mountains Life magazine sends one if its reporters to the Appalachian Mountains to gather life stories of the locals. On the first day, the reporter climbs up a mountain and there he encounters an old man sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of his log cabin. ""Good morning, sir. I'm a reporter from Life magazine. I'm here to gather life stories from the folks living in this area. I have a question for you. What was the greatest day in your life?"" The old man thinks for a while and then says, ""Well...I remember the day when my neighbor's sheep got lost in yonder mountains. So me and the boys went off looking for the darn sheep and we brought along some food and moonshine. But by the time we found the sheep, we were so drunk that we just took turns humping it under the lemon tree! We had a grand time eating, drinking and fornicating!"" The reported is dumbfound by what he just heard. ""Um that's an interesting story sir, but I can't use that in the magazine. What is the second greatest day in your life?"" ""Let's see. Well i remember when my neighbor's daughter got lost in yonder mountains. So me and the boys went off looking for that darn girl and we brought along some food and moonshine. But by the time we found her we were so drunk that we just took turns humping her under the lemon tree! We had a great time eating, drinking, and fornicating!"" ""Listen sir! My magazine won't allow that story to be printed! How about some sad stories? What is the saddest day in your life?"" ""Well...I remember the day when I got lost in yonder mountains...""