My uncle was in the navy, stationed on an aircraft carrier. One day during inspection he had a ketchup stain on his shirt. This had the natural punishment of kitchen duty. That night he reported and there was a big, fat, sweaty man in a wife beater making hamburger patties for dinner the next night. He'd pick up a handful of beef, put it into his armpit and flatten it into a patty. My uncle was absolutely disgusted as they had hamburgers every Thursday for his 2 year deployment. While he was curled over a trash can trying to control his stomach the chef pipes up: ""If you think that's bad you oughta be here the day we make donuts""