Girl do you play basketball? Because I hear you can make Magic with my Johnson.

Game Day entrepreneur . . . A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath. Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag." "Oh, rats! Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.." "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get al…

A man was playing a round of golf. When he came to his favorite par 3, he hit the most glorious shot, and it rolled right in, getting a hole in one. When he picked up the ball, a genie appeared. "Behold, I am the magic hole in one genie! I will grant you one wish. " " Wow, well can you make my Johnson longer?" "Your wish is my command!" As the round went on, the man started to realize that his junk has been growing the whole game until it finally was hanging out the bottom of his pants leg. …

Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat.