An Indian lady walks into a bar for the first time... and sat infront of the bartender. There were two men sitting beside her. One on her left and one on her right. The man on the right said to the bartender: ""Jack Daniels, single."" The man on the left said to the bartender: ""Johnnie Walker, single."" Then the bartender looked the the lady and said: ""And you??"" The lady replied: ""Aakaanksha Kapoor, married!""

Whiskey joke. Johnnie walker, Jim Beam and Evan Williams spend all night at the bar. Who pays the tab? Who gets a cab? Who goes home with a girl on the rag? Johnnie obviously doesn't get a cab. Despite having a unique taste, but also is the most expensive. So he pays the tab. Jim frequents many bars and isn't sure which one he's at or how to get home so he calls a cab. And Evan Williams, well he's just a nasty S.O.B.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*