If Sesame Street really cared about children they'd realize Big Bird could feed a hungry family for a month.

How do yo get to Sesame Street? Unzip my pants and ask big bird

Mrs. Piggy Q. Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey? A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.