1st man: You know, husband and wife aren't allowed together in heaven! 2nd man: Yes, I know! That's why it's called heaven!

I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, she's still alive.

Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.

Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty evil looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours.