They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?" The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with, "Your father is fishing in Michigan." The skeptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years." "No" replied the super computer immediately, "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout!"

Her: Show me your pics Me: Ok *blackberry restarts* *waiting* *gets married* *have kids* Son: Dad, your phone finished restarting *dies*

[Morning after wedding] *dead husband lies on bed* PRAYING MANTIS: [On phone] Mom *sobs* it happened again MOM: Ok hurry up and eat his body

*phone rings* Wife: "Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me (a dad): "Hello. Yes my wife is here. Hey, Not In. It's for you." Wife: "...."