Donald Trump and a Pig To avoid protests and negative press, Donald Trump decides to go to his next campaign rally in his limo alone with his driver. They take the scenic route through lonely farmlands. Not another soul in sight for miles, Trump enjoys the view and dozes off to sleep. As luck would have it, his limo runs over a pig that suddenly ran across the road. The limo comes to a screeching halt, waking Trump. Both men get out of the limo to see the now flattened pig. Looking around, they …

A man died and went to heaven... A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. …

St. Peter: Why should I let you into heaven? Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?