A man calls his brother while on vacation... Richard was on vacation, and his brother, John, is watching his cat for him. Richard called John and asked how everything was going. John answered, ""your cat's dead."" Richard freaked out and said, ""you don't just tell someone their cat died like that! You let them down easy!"" ""okay, how should I have said it?"" ""first you say the cat got out, then the next day the cat is on the roof, then the next day he fell, he's at the vet, then the next day,…

Kid: why is my cousin named Diamond? Mother: because your auntie really loves diamonds Kid: well what about my name? Mother: never mind about that Richard.

A young boy asks him mum why his cousin is named Diamond... His mother replies ""because your auntie loves Diamonds"" He replies ""what about me?"" She responds ""enough question Richard""

Three mothers see a psychologist They've brought their kids with them. The psychologist says, ""It looks like you all have obsessions, and you've named your children after them."" He says to the first mother, ""You have an obsession with cars, which is why you named your daughter Mercedes"" He moves onto the second mom, ""Your obsession is money. Your child's name is Penny, which reflects that."" Finally he turns to the third mother. ""At first I was puzzled by your choice, but I realized it was…