I need your parent's phone number so I can call you & hang up when they answer. Cause if I'm gonna crush on you, I'm doing it old school.

A teacher told Thomas to learn the alphabet. There was a boy named Tom. His teacher told him to learn the first three letters of the alphabet when he went home. He went home and said to his sister "" whats the first letter of the alphabet?"" she said ""shutup!"" because she was on the phone with her boyfriend. His dad was watching darts on the tv and the boy asked ""whats the seccond letter of the alphabet?"" His dad said ""180"" He went to ask his baby sister and said""whats the third letter of…

Plastic parrots A father is talking to his three year old son the week before his birthday. He asks him what he would like as a present, and the boy replies that he would like a parrot. His dad replies that he can't have a real parrot, but searches all around and eventually finds a plastic parrot toy. The boy's mother assures him that it will all be ok and they sit down with their son to open his presents. The father worriedly hands the plastic parrot to his son but the boy immediately loves his…

10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit. 9. She's been wearing an engagement ring for three weeks, but you don't recall proposing to her. 8. She just started a college course that meets seven nights a week. 7. She says she has to tell you something... on Jerry Springer. 6. Her love letters come soaked in formaldehyde rather than perfume. 5. Whenever she introduces you it's always ""I would like you to meet an old friend of mine..."" 4. She leaves a message on your phone and identif…