"I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy." Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin

[breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE

Stalin, Kruschev, and Brezhnev are riding a train when it suddenly grinds to a halt. Stalin says, ""I know what to do. We shoot the conductor, the ticket collector, and ten passengers at random. Then the train will run again."" ""No, I have a better idea,"" says Kruchev. ""We tell everyone on the train that true communism is just around the corner! Then the train will run again."" ""Tovarishi, you're trying too hard,"" Brezhnev cuts in. ""We simply close the curtains, lean back and have a vodka,…

A joke my russian friend told... So stalin was giving a speech to a few hundred thousand soldiers... One soldier then sneezes in the middle of stalin's speech. Stalin stops, looks around and asks: ""who sneezed?"" there was no answer.... he asks again and sure enough no one answered - Stalin is now pissed, he doesn't like being ignored so he gets the first row executed. He asks again, and no one answers... ""execute the second row"" and BAM the second row is dead! He asks again... then a little …