Dave is constantly bragging to everyone at work that he knows everyone in the world. Eventually, his boss has had enough of his shit, and tells Dave to prove it. So, Dave says ""sure, name someone, and I'll prove to you that I know them."" After a minute of thinking, the boss suggests Tom Cruise, and so off they go to see him. Once they arrive at Cruise's house, Dave knocks on the door, and is immediately buzzed in. Tom Cruise comes running down the stairs and says ""Dave old buddy, good to see …

A man in North Korea got given 40 years in a labour camp for calling Kim Jong Un an idiot... 5 for slander, and 35 for revealing state secrets-

There was this musician in North Korea… One day he was called upon Kim Jong-Un himself to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean orchestra play it to him in the humble auditorium. The man, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked. The big night arrived with the musician stood at the front of the greatest orchestra in the whole of North Korea. However, they were terrible. They didn’t play the music anything like the musician had composed it to sound. …

Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors: “North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!”