Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a Red Belly Black Snake. ""I'll go into town for a doctor,"" the other says. He runs ten kays to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby. ""I can't leave,"" the doctor says. But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground and your mate will survive.."" The guy runs back to his friend, who is by now close to death and in ago…

A doctor and a lawyer collide in traffic During the afternoon commute, a doctor and a lawyer collide, and go hurtling off the road into the ditch. Both emerge unhurt but badly shaken up. The lawyer says, ""Are you okay?"" The badly rattled doctor replies, ""Yes, I think so. I'm a doctor & I can tell nothing's broken."" The lawyer pulls out a hip flask and offers it to the doctor. ""You look like death warmed over; have a swig of this to steady your nerves."" ""Thanks,"" says the doctor, who …

A boy I teach told the class this one. A man told his son to go chop the wood, so his son goes out and after a while ends up chopping off his finger. His dad puts the finger in a bag and takes him to the doctor. The doctor sews the finger back on and it heals just fine. The dad tells his son to go chop the wood again, and this time the boy chops off his foot. The dad puts the foot in a bag and takes him to the doctor, who successfully reattaches the foot. The dad tells his son to go chop the woo…

Easy For You A man isn't feeling well. He goes to the doctor, who gives him a checkup and then says ""I don't know how to break the news to you, but you have a incurable, fatal condition and you have less 24 hours to live!"" The man goes home and explains to wife about his condition. The have dinner, spend their usual evening at home, and then go to bed. Sometime after midnight, he nudges his wife and wakes her. ""Honey,"" he says. ""These are my last few hours on earth and I can't sleep. What t…