An artist is commissioned to create a painting to celebrate Soviet-Polish relations... to be entitled 'Lenin in Poland'. Around a month later the artist unveils his painting to a crowd of Soviet dignitaries, and it is greeted by gasps of disgust The painting depicts Lenin's wife in bed with Leonid Trotsky One of the assembled guests asks 'But where is Lenin?' To which the artist replied, 'Lenin's in Poland'

Lenin headed directly to Paradise after he died He thought he had done a lot of good for the oppressed, so he deserved retirement in Paradise. He knocked on Heaven's door: ""Knock, knock!"" God shouted from his cosmically gigantic and perfectly spherical office: ""Who's there?"" ""Vladimir Ilyich Lenin."" ""Okay, okay! The last one in be sure to close the door. It's kind of cold in here..."" God studied carefully Lenin's dossier and decided to send him to the most suitable place: Hell. A short t…

Who is this? An old Russian Jew, left behind decades ago when the rest of the family fled to Israel, had finally been granted permission to leave by the Soviet government. But not without a few last indignities. When he arrived at the airport, his luggage was confiscated and thoroughly searched in front of him. The customs officer, after going through his luggage, pulled out an eight pound sold metal bust of Lenin. "What is this?" the customs officer demanded. "What is this? What is this?! **…

Lenin in Poland In the early 1970's Brezhnev announces to the Politburo that he is making a state visit to Poland, and that in honor of the trip he wishes to bring the Polish people a momentous gift. It is decided that Brezhnev should bring a large painting entitled "Lenin In Poland." After all, what could be a more meaningful expression of Soviet-Polish solidarity than a portrait of Lenin, the god of Soviet communism, visiting Poland? Unfortunately, Lenin never visited Poland, and the "great m…